Introduction
Children have amazing externalities, and their behaviors are most likely reflected even in their performance. It interferes with dignity and respect for other people such as teachers, parents and even peers. AsTaylor (2015) explains in his article that the schools are liable for the conduct of children and should provide a total physical and emotional conducive environment. He also added by saying that these behaviors can be contributed mainly by the birth order of these children and social interest as they have been proved by many theories. Hence, let`s go an extra mile of discussing some aspects like personality and social interest.
An Adlerian play therapist is one and popular approach that deals with the psychology of the child. Play therapy like using toys, singing for them, acting the same way as them, for instance, behaving their age, and communicating to them would significantly educate the child and can grow up faster and mentally upright (Kottman and Meany-Walen, 2016). The theory majorly deals with logic phases like phase one include building a close relationship, knowing the lifestyle of a child, helping gain if there is no, and keeping on educating rather than canning them. Talking politely to a child even if they are on the wrong direction will help the child develop huge trust in you and maybe open forever; hence, will help you know exactly what your child is undergoing.
Similarly, these phases were supposed to be followed systematically. Phase two was generally looking at the background of the child, that is, family considerations and personal assets and strengths. At this level the strategy of questioning and observation is paramount. Storytelling, use of metaphors, and play techniques are employed. This will make the child even more open where you will be able to interact more and more as explained by (Kotman, 2015). The other two phases are where you critically observe the behavior of the student on their own. The skills such as speaking and listening as well as how they relate to their peers. This will give a true reflection of which type of child is that, and at the end of it, one will be able to know how to treat a particular child.
Also, it is pretty good for counselors are advised to use practices that have been approved to be right. The first application that was used is Adlerian therapy that was approved by an organization known as substance abuse and mental health services administration, 2016. It was, therefore, found to be the most effective method for children who have behavior and sensitization problems. This could curb the bad behaviors that have already developed by children who were found to dominate mostly to those children coming first in the family.
Researchers have come up with some conclusions, after a research of over 134 years where the birth order has several effects on the mental development of a child (Gladdwel 2006). Similarly, attempts in the field have been made and relevance to examine how birth order affects a child and in which way, either positively or negatively. The theories wanted to explain better if the children are more open to their peers or their parents and to what age does either happens. They also tried to consider the birth size whether the only child, two, three or a large family.
Adler`s theory states that each position of a specific child has its own positive or negative outcomes. Every child is treated uniquely by the parent concerning birth order. According to research done mostly first born engage themselves in drug abuse and on the contrary, positive education background and results. Birth order is a powerful tool that can impact the social relationship and personality of a child. Each position that anyone holds in a family has its own merits and demerits. For instance, the first born child has all the attention of the parents, for that case, undivided attention, whole attention and total love for quite some time before another comes. The child can easily develop high self-esteem, self-confidence and feeling loved. This one is very advantageous because the child can easily grow up to become a responsible being (Hartshorne 2015).
Another factor that affects is the sex of children in a family. For instance, if there is only one female child among the others who are male, the female child will not develop well and might take the behaviors of a boy child. Thus, according to this case, parents should allow the only child to correlate with others of the same gender from other families. Sibling correlation and relationship, however, are often supportive and harmonious as you think. Jealousy and rivalry are things that have been encountered within siblings. This mostly happens when one person is given attention leaving the others behind.
Social interest is one thing that Adlerian theory addressed as he explains individuals especially the young generation, as they, definitely poses innate interest for social capacity. This was further explained using phase checklist. Where it includes communication by asking questions and allowing the child to answer after which you are supposed to appreciate the work done. Social interest was a sign of a sense of belonging to a certain community. Caregivers keep the social interest in young ones through healthy parenting and modeling, that is, acting as an excellent example to these children by actively interacting with the child (Hartshorne 2015). Many other theories explained the social interest of children, including, children will relate to others if their models are also doing the same. Counselors use these theories to tell the mental health and the well-being, that is rejection, isolation and perhaps inferiority.
Psychology learned could develop oneself like creative self, style of life, and problems of communal life. Style of life is the only way that any individual can use to pursue their goals. Creative self is building oneself in a positive way according to experiences in day to day activities. To evade communal problems, one should have self-control and know how to deal with issues in a very peaceful way. Taking alcohol as a way to suppress problems is not solving that problem; instead, it is adding water to the slippery ground. To avoid involving one-self in problems, people must find engaging work to do instead. Idleness, as it has been said, is the devil workshop; thus, being idle can lead to unwanted behaviors. Work is also termed as healthy in that it makes our bodies fit and it is a form of exercise.
However, the same firstborns experience some difficulties in their spot in that parents expect so much from them. In that their parents are taking the responsibilities for the first time, they mostly have very high expectations for them to be a success in the family. In contrary, the child feels a lot of loss and jealous when a new baby is brought to the family. They feel intruded because attention is no longer on them only but know it has become subdivided. Though, they gradually develop that responsibility of nurturing their siblings and develop a love for them Hartshorne (2015) summarizes this context in his phases by explaining about the skills of a child by using metaphors and other skills to know which child has a better background in terms of parental ground.
Second born children are very jealous in that their older siblings accomplish things and know a lot more than them. For example, going to school and playing around where they have no option but follow their footsteps. They often have no hard times like the older ones since they watch over their elder ones and copy the positive behavior. This particular children often become very competitive as they always want to become better than the rest.
Hartshorne (2015) went on to describe more about how children relate to their peers where it relates to some methodological issues where his discussions mainly based on age, gender, wealth, and class. Children brought up in different status quo tend to have different personalities. From this idea, he goes a bit deeper to support his idea of explaining biological grounds. In knowing this, it will significantly help, and you can tell how best to deal with each child according to their behavior.
Conclusion
To conclude first-borns are very responsible individuals, middle children are known to be pleasers, and of course last ones are mostly attention seekers. But, according to scientists, they have lacked the evidence to show the linkage between birth order and personality. According to research done by other scholars, intelligence is greatly influenced by birth order in the case of extended family and not to nuclear families. During the research, it was also noted that children born almost at the same time from different family socialize effectively than their siblings of different age. This shows that birth order analyses have been undertaken between families and not within families.
References
Hartshorne, J. K., Salem-Hartshorne, N., & Hartshorne, T. S. (2009). Birth order effects in the formation of long-term relationships. The Journal of Individual Psychology, 65(2), 156
Dillman Taylor, D., &Kottman, T. (2019). Assessing the utility and fidelity of the Adlerian Play
Therapy Skills Checklist using qualitative content analysis. International Journal of Play Therapy, 28(1), 13-21.
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