Arranged Marriages in India: Pros & Cons in 21st Century - Essay Sample

Introduction

Should arranged marriages still be practiced in the 21st century? In the current era of science, information and technology much has changed in terms of cultural practices. Traditionally, communities such as the Indian community practiced arranged marriages; something this community still practices to-date. Research indicates that India is one of the countries in the world where there is a widespread practice of arranged marriages. Close to 88.4% of all marriages in India today are arranged. I believe that that this is an outdated practice and in the current era, everyone should have the freedom to marry an individual of their choice. The following report is as a result of an ethnographic interview of an individual from the Indian community who has gone through an arranged marriage and supports it. The reason for choosing this individual was because she comes from the community, has gone through this practice and supports it. She serves as a reasonable representation of the practice given the fact that she has gone through it and has succeeded in the same.

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The individual has been married for close to 24 years after their wedding was arranged by the parents. In addition, the families know each other very well. The couple comes from the same community, the same state, and the same city. The families are very similar and therefore, it was easy for the couple to get along with each other. However, the interviewee indicates that as much as the marriage was arranged, the couple made the decision to get married. Therefore, all the parents did was arrange the meeting. It took the individual close to six months to make a decision, and she indicates that she made the right decision.

The idea of a proposed marriage, although being common in the community, came as a suggestion from the parents. In addition, the couple trusted their parents on the proposal, but in the end, the decision was left to the couple to decide, and the interviewee indicates that they made the right decision. One of the issues that stood out, especially for me, was how the parent knew who was right for their child. However, the interviewee indicates that parents know their children very well and they will do everything possible to try and find the most suitable match for their children. She further suggests that parents are more experienced in matters that relate to marriage.

Like any other couple in the world who are about to get married, there are questions on how ready a person is for the marriage. In this case, the marriage is arranged and therefore, the stakes are higher. The interviewee confirmed this after he indicated that she was not 100% ready for the arranged marriage, but the parents told her to meet the husband-to-be first and gave her full freedom to make any decision she wanted. It took her six months to say 'yes'; a conclusion she is currently pleased with.

Her views on arranged marriages in the Indian community suggest that she would prefer it to be flexible. She further indicates that it is wrong for parents to decide their children's partners without consulting them. It has to be some form of mutual understanding. Parents should give their children the freedom to choose the right person for them. The arranged marriages should be in the form of a proposal which is put across for the children to choose from. In most cases, children in this community trust and respect their parents' choice because they have more experience when it comes to marriage.

Moving forward, the interviewee was asked whether she would allow their children to fall in love and find a partner on their own or would the parents arrange a marriage for them. She responded by indicating that she would give her children the freedom to find a suitable partner and would only interfere if the child ran into a problem and would like help finding the perfect partner. She also advocates for a transformation in the manner in which arranged marriages are conducted by indicating that she would not force her children to marry from the community or go for strict marriage arrangements. It is their life, and she trusts that they will make the right decision. In the end, the interviewee is aiming for her children's happiness.

It is evident from the interviewee has value attachments to her community and the traditions practiced in that particular community. She is also true to traditions although she appears to be liberal. In the interview, she indicates that the arranged marriage came to her as a proposal. This means that she had all the right to accept or reject the idea. It also means that her parents did not force the matter on her. She was also given time to make the decision, and towards the end of the interview, she indicates that she is open to the idea of having her children marry those that they fall in love with even if they are outside the community.

There is evidence that her experience since she got married has been alright because she indicates that she does not regret the decision she made. Unlike other communities where women have no say, and they are matched with strangers, it is encouraging to see that the interviewee was given time to make a decision on whether she wanted to marry the man or not. One of the most outstanding reasons behind her support for arranged marriages is based on the belief that parents know their children best and they also know more about a matter pertaining to marriages.

My priorities and values differ slightly from those of the interviewee, and besides, these views are shared by a majority of people all over the world. Arranged marriages are traditional practices that have no room in the modern world. In the information age where worldwide communications are almost instant, it is difficult for many of these traditional practices to remain relevant regardless of what families or communities may want. We may find that many of these children who have their marriages arranged are against the idea mainly because they are not emotionally attracted to the individual. In such cases, the individual will go ahead with the marriage to fulfill his/her social obligations. I believe parents should consult their children first before making these arrangements. The children are the primary participants in the marriage, and it would be fair if they were involved in the arrangements.

Another different issue is when the interviewee mentions that parents are best suited to choose their children's spouses because they know them best. To some extent, this statement contrasts with worldview on marriage. I believe that when a child comes of age, and they are ready to get married and start a family, the parents need to trust their children to make the right decision in terms of choosing a partner for themselves. I agree with the interviewee that parents have a better understanding of what marriage is and the necessary tools required to make a marriage successful. Therefore, they should only step in when the child needs support from them whether in the form of advice on marriage or other forms of support such as finances.

The interviewee's point of view has not affected my opinion in any way. I have more reasons to support my ideology based on what the interviewee says at the end of the interview. She indicates that she would only contribute to the marriage arrangements by offering her support to her children in case they found themselves a partner. Also, she would not force her children to marry in the same community or go for a strict marriage arrangement. This ideology supports what I believe in. According to article 12 under the human rights articles, everyone has the right to marry and start a family if they are of marriageable age (equalityhumanrights.com). In addition, parents and children have different perspectives and points of view mainly because of the environment they grow up in. That means that the environment that led up to the marriage of two individuals may be different from the kind of environment their children grow up in. Parents need to acknowledge and accept this particular fact.

In a world that has little regard for cultural and religious differences and is more concerned with what people have in common, it is straightforward for people how come from different communities to get married. In the Indian community, arranged marriages are made within the same community. Parents need to acknowledge that it is possible for their children to fall in love with people outside their community. This means that they should not force them to marry within the community but instead champion for their children's happiness. In some cases, trying to force some of these beliefs down the child's throat may result in rebellion from the child, and in the end, the parents lose their child.

I have learned that my worldview is legitimate and accurate. Children should be allowed to choose who they want to marry and build a family with. Although arranged marriages in the Indian community are still prevalent, they are slowly becoming less relevant in the modern generation. Children are currently more informed on the issue of marriage, and therefore, when they are ready to get married, parents need to support their decision. In case the child has trouble finding a partner, the parent can get involved only when they have consulted the child first. Also, parents can offer support to their children before they walk into marriage because they are more experienced when it comes to issues that relate to marriages. Nevertheless, traditions are essential in any community, and therefore, it is up to the leaders to decide which traditions are still relevant in the current age.

Work Cited

"Right To Marry | Equality And Human Rights Commission". Equalityhumanrights.Com, 2019, https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/en/human-rights-act/article-12-right-marry. Accessed 23 Apr 2019.