Romantic Relationship Project Example

In this relationship project, I am going to focus on the romantic type of relationship. It is a husband-wife relationship. This relationship meets the requirements of the project because not only in terms of the number of times we meet with my husband per week but also on time I have elapsed since we met. We stay with my husband in the same house, and I see him many times a week. Our relationship started several years ago. We met my husband in college as friends. Since our first meeting, we later interacted a lot, and our friendship grew stronger with time. Our friendship grew stronger because we used to communicate a lot using both verbal and non-verbal communication. Finally, we decided to live together as husband and wife. Overall, our romantic relationship has been good. However, there are some occasions when we had minor differences over some issues. Our ability to handle situations in our past has been largely dictated by the manner of communication we adopted. While certain approaches improved our relationships, there are some aspects of communication that worsened the situation. In the last three months, we have been going on well in our relationship as husband and wife. As usual, there were occasional disagreements about various issues. Although the issues were minor, I have realized that failure to handle them well can cause a lot of problems. I have learned what works well in our relationship and what does not work well. As a result, every time we have a disagreement, I would approach the issue in a way that minimizes the chances of further disagreements or use tactics that will avoid making the problem grow big. When there are no issues, I also try to conduct myself in such a way that I avoid the chances of creating a problem, misunderstandings, or unnecessary disagreements in our relationship. Since we are not together most of the time during the daytime, we use social networks to communicate.

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People who are in romantic relationships can use various ways to communicate with each other. When they are together, they can use verbal communication such as talking. However, when they are far apart, they can use phones to call, text messages, use social media, and so forth. Social networking sites are not only a source of information but also a source of tension between romantic partners. The utilization of social networks sites for communication in romantic relationships has been investigated by Morey et al. (2013) and also by Fox, Katie, and Warber (2014). Fox, Katie, and Warber (2014) observed that social media has gradually emerged to be one of the top communication tools in close relationships. One example of the social media platforms is the Facebook whose users has surpassed 1 billion.

Although Facebook has been a choice for communication in social as well as interpersonal interactions, Fox, Katie, and Warber (2014) investigated its use in romantic relationships. Specifically, the authors were concerned with the impact of the use of Facebook on attachment style, sex, and also relational uncertainty in monitoring ones former or current romantic partner. The authors contend that Facebook affects how partners whether they are online or offline. According to Fox, Katie, and Warber (2014), social networking sites are preferred ways of interpersonal electronic surveillance. People who are in romantic relationships prefer to use social networking sites to monitor their partners. They prefer these sites because information can be assessed readily through the sites and that information on social networking sites is available in various types of media (video clips, audio clips, links, photographs, and texts). Further, romantic partners prefer using social networking sites because profile information is archived. This is where one may gather previous photos, messages, and interactions with other users. The other reason why it has been easier using social media is because access to information is not restricted by geographical location since one can track another partner secretly without the other knowing that he or she is under online surveillance. Findings of the investigations revealed that one predictor that increases the level of monitoring within a romantic relationship is relational uncertainty. The authors pointed out that relational uncertainty is a product of ambiguity within partners in a relationship such as doubts about the future of the relationship and whether the other partner is serious about the relationship. A partner who is experiencing uncertainty may explore the others content to find out what the other partner is doing and who is he or she interacting with in order to alleviate the uncertainty of the relationship.

Fox, Katie, and Warber (2014) investigated attachment in the context of romantic relationships. This has been previously investigated by Morey et al. (2013). In their investigation, Morey et al. (2013) focused on the relationships of attachment style with communication technology use in the aspect of romantic relationships. Results of their investigation suggest that attachment avoidance was associated with reduced frequency of texting and phone use, and also greater use of email. Texting was found to be associated with highly avoidant individuals. However, greater use of social network sites was associated with intimate relationships for those with higher anxiety.

Attachment theorists claim that ones relationship experiences with primary caregivers during childhood or infancy shape how ones relationship unfolds throughout his or her lifetime (Fox, Katie, and Warber, 2014). The theorists pointed out that the attachment mechanism becomes evident when infants or children develop favorable or unfavorable of others and the self through their interactions. The key aspects of attachment are avoidance and anxiety. In anxiety, relationships can cause either increased or decreased uncertainty. However, in avoidance, individuals can choose to avoid or engage personal relationships on the basis of relational experiences in early life. The authors pointed out that previous investigation suggests that avoidance individuals are more likely to use technologies such as social media to end relationships. It has been argued that there are four types of attachment styles in romantic relationships: dismissing, preoccupied, fearful, and secure. Secure people are comfortable with not only themselves but also their partners in the relationships. They tend to view themselves and others with high regard and consider themselves as close with intimate relationships. As a result, they exhibit minimum levels of anxiety with regards to their partners and report lower levels of relationship problems than other styles. Preoccupied individuals have been found to take their partners with high regard and believe that they are not worthy of the other partner. Because they are anxious that the other partner may reject them, such people exhibit a lot of anxiety, and they tend to control the relationship. Preoccupied have been found to be low on avoidance but high in anxiety and therefore they might cling to their romantic partners. Dismissing individuals have been found to possess a positive attitude toward themselves but a negative attitude toward others. This makes them have low anxiety, greater independence, and little regard to close relationships. Such people are therefore more avoidant than secure and preoccupied individuals. Fearful individuals have been found to be uncomfortable in close romantic relationships due to their worry about being hurt by others. Fearful individuals experience high anxiety and due to their lack of assertiveness, they tend to either avoid or nullify anything to do with avoidance (Fox, Katie, & Warber, 2014).

In our relationship, I tend to develop certain perceptions about my partner. The perceptions can cause problems in our relationship. As a result, I usually check my perceptions by describing, interpretation, and clarification. That is, I provide a description of my partners behavior that I notice, provide two probable interpretations of the behavior I notice, and request his clarification of the behavior which I observed as well as my interpretations. The results of my perceptions are two-fold: it helps me to decipher messages more accurately and also reduce potential conflict or defensiveness.

During our communication, I employ two key patterns of listening: people-oriented and content-oriented. For example, when my partner has problems related to our relationships or which are not relationships such as the workplace, I exhibit a strong concern for him and his feelings. I become more emphatic to his problems, and if the issue is about our romantic relationship or family affairs, I appeal to his emotions during arguments. In some cases, I utilize contend-oriented listening. For example, when there is an issue which I find it can compromise our intimate relationship, I am more concerned about what is being said more than who is saying it or even their feelings. To improve my listening skills, I usually face my husband and maintain eye contact during talking. When talking, I also become relaxed and attentive, keep an open mind, listen to the words as I picture what he is saying, and avoid interrupting or forcing solutions as he speaks.

Often, I employ Gibbs strategy of supportive communication in our relationships. This includes description and empathy. In the description, I do not judge his feelings, perceptions, or events. I express genuine request for any information I would like to know. In empathy, I get involved with my partners feelings. I am willing to identify with, accept, respect, and understand him at all times.

Implementation of the various strategies in our communication has dramatically improved our romantic relationships. For example, I have learned to check my perceptions by not only describing and interpretation but also by clarification. Through this strategy, I have been in a position to develop an accurate understanding of his messages and thereby avoid any potential conflict that could arise. This has been instrumental in or relationship. Furthermore, the patterns of listening and Gibbs strategies have been critical in enhancing our positive relationships, understanding, and disagreements.

To improve our romantic relationships in future, there is a need to improve on certain aspects other than just being good at listening, employing Gibbs strategies, and checking perceptions. Some further improvements include becoming more open and honest with each other, paying attention to non-verbal signs, and being focused on the topic at hand in all arguments.

References

Fox, J., & Warber, K. M. (2014). Social networking sites in romantic relationships: Attachment, uncertainty, and partner surveillance on Facebook. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 17(1), 3-7.

Morey, J. N., Gentzler, A. L., Creasy, B., Oberhauser, A. M., & Westerman, D. (2013). Young adults use of communication technology within their romantic relationships and associations with attachment style. Computers in Human Behavior, 29(4), 1771-1778.