Can Women and Men be Friends? - Research Paper

Introduction

Having a friend is one of the fundamental experiences of a man as a social being. Friendship as a concept encompasses one's private and social life. Friends are instrumental in shaping individual social as well as emotional life. The concept of friendship has evolved over the years from the time of ancient Greece to modern days. Traditionally friendship was perceived as to be classified into three distinct types; friends for pleasure, utility friends, and friend of virtue (Kaliarnta 2016). The friendship that is built on virtue establishes a strong bond, and it is essential for a good life. The utility and pleasure type of friendship is shallow, and it does not go beyond the indented purpose. The concept of friendship is modern days has changed to the extent that people consider friends for various type of interest. The focus of friendship in the modern days emphasizes the solidarity, fidelity, and trust as opposed to the good and rational. This essay discusses the fundamental question as to whether men and women can be friends.

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It can be argued that men and women can be friends. However, their friendship cannot be solid without sexual tension between them. Although some people believe that women can still be friends to men without sexual ties, at one-point sexual feeling occurs between them. Human being has a different instinct that drives them to one another. The force of attraction is much stronger in the people of the opposite sex. It is evident from personal experience that it is hard for men to be a friend to sexually attractive women without feeling the same.

Similarly, women find it difficult to be a friend to attractive and handsome men without having sexual feelings (Von Heyking, 2016). The desire between men and women make it difficult for them to do a certain thing that they can do with friends of the same sex. It is argued that even if a man has a good female friend, he cannot do the same thing that he freely does with the male colleague - for example, feeling asleep together while listening to music or watching a movie. If such cases happen, it will be perceived differently by other people. It becomes even more difficult when one partner in the friendship has the sexual feeling towards the other while the other has no same feeling. It can also be argued that society is not ready to accommodate friendship between men and women without the sexual aspect (M cPherran,2013). It is because people with friends from the opposite sex are often treated with skepticism. People tend to ask various question as to whether the relationship is purely friendship or romantic. The concept of friendship, according to the Aristotle, is a virtue just like justice, courage, and truth. Friends are people who are supposed to be there for each other and confine into one another at the time of needs and in good times. Research suggests that women regard their husbands as friends, but when faced with the crisis, they look for their female friends for advice. Aristotle argues that friendship is a fundamental ingredient not only for an orderly life but also for a happy life (Von Heyking, 2016). The social inequality between men and women is another factor that limits friendship. Men and women are only seen as compatible during sexual reproduction.

Society defines the gender role for both male and females. The disparity between the two makes it difficult to bond and form a trustworthy friendship. Men have been brought up in an environment that is anchored on the patriarchal values and principle. Girls, on the other hand, have been groomed to be responsible for domestic matters and be submissive to the men. The social difference between men and women leaves them compatible in areas of love, marriage, and sex but not friendship. Pogribin asserts that actual platonic friendship is only realistic among people of the same social upbringing (M cPherran,2013).

Additionally, Aristotle argues that real friendship is not possible between people of the opposite sex because women and men were not equal (M cPherran,2013). Friendship is meant to make the parties involved equal. However, in the society where men are considered to be superior to women make it difficult to strike a clean deal of friendship. Since men are dominant in power and prestige, they are likely to bring this in the relationship. In the case of such a situation, women are at the risk of becoming submissive in the relationship, making it difficult for them to be friends.

Aristotle argues that every individual should aim at being happy. According to him, happiness is not about emotional cheerfulness but a life featured with pleasant things and activities which have attained full potential (Von Heyking, 2016). Men and women hold things differently. Women hold to friendship with emotional ties as opposed to the men. A successful relationship requires the parties involved to maintain a sense of independence. However, people fail to define their nature of friendship at the beginning of the relationship and what stated as mere friendship escalates into a romantic relationship. When it comes to the relationship between women and men, people may want one thing, and along the way, nature decides otherwise.

Although it is argued that men and women can never be friends without a sexual relationship, there are those who believe that such a relationship can work. They argue that advancement in technology and the changes in the society and realization of gender role has made it easy for people from the opposite sex to be a friend without sexual attraction. Traditionally, women wore linked to the domestic roles, but the changes in the technology have equalized the role in the society making it possible for men and women to work together in the same environment (M cPherran,2013). The working environment makes it easier for men and women to interact more and are likely to strike a friendship deal. However, the friendship can only be true if they can get past the sexual attraction.

Conclusion

In summary, friendship is a concept that is supposed to bring benefit to the parties involved. Aristotle emphasizes on the need of having friends who are self-sufficient because they can bring goods that can help a needy friend. The bond of friendship is, however, strong among people of the same sex. It is difficult for men and women to have a friendship without bringing out the issue of sexual attraction. Most of the relationships established between men and women end up attracting sexual feeling. It, therefore, leads to the conclusion that men and women can not be friends without sexual attraction.

References

Kaliarnta, S., (2016). Using Aristotle's theory of friendship to classify online friendships: a critical counterview. Ethics and Information Technology, 18(2), 65-79.

Von Heyking, J. (2016). The Form of Politics: Aristotle and Plato on Friendship (Vol. 66). McGill-Queen's Press-MQUP.

Mc Pherran, M. L. (2013). 1 Socrates, Plato, erfis, and liberal education. Ideas of Education: Philosophy and Politics from Plato to Dewey,