Observing your body change is one of fascinating experiences in human life. Working up in the morning and finding out that something did change in your body usually, comes with mixed feelings? The changes that occur may sometimes be considered as positive. This occurs mostly when the change has improved the status quo of someone. On the other hand, an unwanted change is always frustrating especially for the female gender. In women, an hour glass shape is the most desired shape. The women in teens are the ones who frequently maintain this shape if they attain it. With age and pregnancy, a lot of things changes. This essay looks into an obsession with body image after giving birth.
I have carried four pregnancies successfully, and one thing stood out after every pregnancy, which is standing in the mirror every morning. I keep looking at myself in the mirror while checking my weight. Its bad manners, right? I know that what you think right now. You believe it's weird to stand naked before a mirror and look at how your body has changed, but wait until you experience what I have been through after giving birth four times. As I mentioned earlier, its been a series of mixed feelings and reaction for me. As a matter of fact, who wouldn't be fascinated or surprised by change on oneself? Tell me one, and I would show you a mad person.
After giving birth the first time, I was really happy by some of the body changes. The fact that I became curvier. By this I mean, there was a tremendous increase in the size of my hips. Every woman would wish to have good hips, hips that would make someone appreciate her as being beautiful. Earlier I had mentioned that every woman in the world an hour glass shape. I don't just desire it, am obsessed by it. I stand in the mirror just to look at how fat and curvy they have become. I just do not admire them; I totally fall in love with them. I vividly remember before giving birth how I was so much obsessed with growing hips. My obsession was seeing them grow. I did everything just to increase their size, from eating oily and junk to consulting doctors. Little did I know that I could increase the size of my hips by just one natural process; giving birth. Is it not so sweet to get what you have yearned for? Does it not sound fulfilling when you finally get what you ever wanted?
This is the most amazing experience of post birth changes. The increase in hip size is body normal reaction mechanism to increased energy demand. More fat is deposited in the hips so as to ensure there is enough energy for lactation and to sustain a pregnancy. Moreover, the increment increases stability. No wonder women never tire from carrying the baby in their back or even as they walk around. According to the laws of physics, the center of gravitational force in their body has been lowered making them more stable. What amazes me most is the fact that I can never go back to my former self. So every morning after shower I stand in the mirror and admire my beautiful self. I am just obsessed by how beautiful I have become.
The weirdest thing about giving birth is that one never gets back to their normal self again. After the first birth, the flat tummy disappears, and one develops a bit round tummy. The increase in tummy size gave me just one desire, the desire to go to the gym. Every morning was spent doing sit ups and push up with and aim of going back to the lady I was before. The gym became a habit and gradually it turned into an obsession. The want to see a major change in my tummy became the only inspiration as I journeyed through the painful tummy reduction procedures I bet this is what most women experience. Sadly, even after visiting the gym for as long as I could remember, my tummy never went back to the size I wanted. I could still see it bigger than it was before I conceived. I realized the more hours I spent in the gym, the more frustrated I was simply by the fact that I could not achieve what I desired.
The more I visited the gym, the more I became obsessed with weight loss and tummy trimming. Despite the fact that I succeeded to reduce some pounds, I never regained my original look and shape. With child birth, I had acquired a new look. This new look was more beautiful and mature as compared to the former. I guess the new look is more obsessive because the former quickly fades away from my head; the desire to remember how I was before brought up the burning desire to watch my new look. Moreover, every morning all my thoughts are just clouded with things to do to make it better.
My obsession with self-change is entirely of the positive things to my life, the desire to be better and more beautiful. It all springs upon my belief that the greatest and rarest possession every woman has is their beauty. It is no wonder most women fight tooth and nail to look prettier. The fact that a woman could become more beautiful because of the force of nature is the most amazing thing about the woman. Beauty, therefore, becomes the only obsession.
The other beautiful thing about after giving birth is the new fold of skin at my knees. This carries all the weight extra weight and that of the unborn for nine months. This extra fold of skin makes the legs look more beautiful than they were and so the craving to look at the legs every time I feel idle. On the other hand, my cheekbones became more pronounced creating somehow beautiful dimple that no one fails to notice. Being the first time in more than 20 years to see dimples on my face, all I had was an awe of admiration every moment I see myself in the mirror. It is so crazy an obsession that I cannot stop even to look at myself in the mirror of cars and house windows.
Another vivid change experience after giving birth is the increase in the size of the breast. It is important to realize that breast sizes differ for different women depending on their genetic make-up and body hormonal levels. They usually begin to increase in size at puberty. After birth, they increase more so as to carry more milk for lactation. This is a process usually triggered by body hormonal activities (Corrie S 2016). The increment in the size of my breast was just fascinating. For several years I had wished I had big and more beautiful breasts. Seeing them grow was both beautiful and lovely. Every morning or evening became a habit. The worry, however, sets in when they began to sag. Somehow at this point, I felt they were getting out of control. When they sag somehow, a lady feels she is losing what makes her beautiful self. This makes the desire to observe how the body looks every time to grow even stronger. Worse still, it creates fear and sadness in the heart. The idea of losing what was initially beautiful to you and admired by others is so scary. It is even more frightening when you have to change your closet because your top clothes no longer fit you.
A part from physical fitness I breast feed my babies more so as to regain normal size of the breast. The more the baby sucks the breast, the more they reduce in size. Ideally, the process of breast feeding and breast size is controlled by a hormone, as the baby sucks the milk the sizes of glands reduce thus breast regain their size. My urge to come back to beautiful self-makes me breast feed for as long as I still got milk in the breasts. My intention is to be the lady of my youth even after giving birth; I can only do this if I take all the measures and caution needed (Umbreit et al. 2007)
My craving for change is what made me start a fitness team in the neighborhood. With my team of four friends, we wake up at 4 am every morning and run for about 2 kilometers before preparing to go to work. At the inception of the idea I had thought, it was only me who had the urge to observe the change in myself. Little did I know that even other friends and women wanted the same in me? This was a great inspiration and motivated me to keep craving for the hour glass shape which according to many in the world was the beautiful shape a lady could have.
Another funny thing with pregnancy is the sudden change in the size of the legs. This change sometimes becomes abnormal and scary. I get scared with this abnormal swelling of feet. It pisses me off to the extent that I begin to massage it. I even visit the hospital about it, though am told its normal and all I need is to exercise. Like I mentioned earlier about the gym, that is the place I resort to. In all my dreams I had never thought of body getting worse regarding how I look. All I ever wish for is to be better even as I age gracefully. However, the more I get kids, the lazier I somehow become regarding how to take care of myself. I think this could be because much of the concentration is in taking care of the newly born. The wise use to say that looks are deceptive, but imagine how sad it is when you realize you are having a bad look.
I somehow think that everyone in this world is obsessed with how they look. The level of obsession however varies. My obsession springs from the fact that I had to meet my worst fear; change. Change whether positive or negative always scares me. I always want to see it coming and so control the outcome. The more I changed, the more I struggled to ensure the change is that which I yearn for. Do you know how disappointing it is to realize that you have changed to what you did not want? If you do not then ask me and I will tell you to have an experience; through child birth, if you are a lady.
I have always believed that self-worth and self-confidence in some cases spring from our look. Though some people can deny this, I believe in a way how we look our courage to approach people and situations. I always want to be in control when addressing friends or when solving a situation. I look at myself every morning before leaving the house. When I see the tummy look big like it did after giving birth, I feel somehow shy because am not looking the best of me. Basically, I would say that my obsession with how I looked after giving birth was because I needed to look the best of me. Giving birth had, however, brought into place some body changes that were not there before. Some of these changes were pleasing to my eyes, and I wish I could have more.
For instance, every time I looked at my hair, I realized they had become tougher and oily. This made me wish for more of the look because I had desired to have such hair in my entire teenage life. I would say this was a gift that comes about due to hormonal changes I experienced during pregnancy. My face also becomes dazzling with beautiful dimple as I had mentioned earlier. On the contrary, I also experienced displeasing changes. My breast became excessive, and it took me lots of toils to ensure they reduce. The worst part is the fact that they lose their firmness after successive breast feeding.
I wish to flag off my writing by looking outside my obsession and looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. I want you to understand that am not just obsessed with my looks when I look at myself; I am obsessed at how I look when you look at me walking down the road, the stairs or wherever the place you could spot me. For this reason, I always mind a lot what I put on my body. Interestingly, after giving birth, I had to change my closet to have clothes that suites me as a married lady but who is still beautiful. The intent of changing the clothes was to ensure I adjust to the body changes that had caught up with me due to childbirth. My wish was to look descent even in my beautiful self. My mom would always tell me that the choice of clothes I buy should only reveal me as being more beautiful and worthy woman. Despite the fact that clothes could not hide the changes in my body, I went for the best that could fit in my body and still give me the self-confidence that I desire. Moreover, I discipline myself to visit...
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