Essay on Love and Addiction

There is a thin line between real love and addictive love. Many people are left in chaos, not sure whether they are in love or are under the deception of addiction, confusing it for love. There is need, therefore, to differentiate between the two as often people find themselves in the mix up not knowing what they are experiencing. Love cannot be an addiction and neither can addiction be love. Oftentimes we witness people suffering as a result of this confusion between love and addiction, other times we become victims of this pitfall. We are manipulated by the oscillating hormones that lead to experiences of high and low, sex and romance. The effects of these hormonal reactions in the context of love can generate addictive behaviors commonly associated with such substances as cocaine and alcohol (Roberts & Nesdole, 2016). Often words used to describe addiction include obsession, dependence, attachment, compulsion among a host of other descriptions. A closer look reveals that some of these words are also used in the context of love.

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The addicts in the context of love might have an intellectual idea of their sense of obsession but are not able to physically and emotionally get over their addiction (Schaefer, 2006). Just like any other addiction, the consequences of love withdrawal can be fatal to its victims. Many are the times we have heard or read in the media of someone who has either committed suicide or has been murdered, of someone being charged with neglect of their parental duties often in the form of child support, of people being caught in scandalous affairs, just to name a few. All these happen in the context of love addiction, which closely resembles drug and substance withdrawal symptoms.

Love addiction essentially refers to the undue dependence on people, sex or romance in order to have ones needs met. It is a psychological weakness where people depend on people or things outside of their selves in order to have their unmet needs fulfilled, to avoid emotional pain, loneliness or heal some trauma suffered in the past. Victims of love addiction seek to gain control of their lives but ironically end up losing control by yielding their power over to someone else. People suffering from love addiction have the feeling that they do not have enough or that they are not good enough and in the process resort to seeking external fulfillment for validation. People often look up to others to fix their pain, fears, and inadequacies and in the process inflict and tolerate abusive behaviors. This other person could be a spouse, a friend, our boss or even a parent.

Love addiction stems from a situation of broken trust. The paradox of it is that we want closeness, but we are still scared of it because of our past experience of a betrayal of trust. Being in a relationship is inevitable for humans; this fear has to be somehow addressed. The answer comes in the form of love addiction which masquerades as the real thing. Deep down, however, those in love addiction clearly understand that it is not the real thing and know when they are being fooled or when they are fooling the other (Roberts & Nesdole, 2016).

Addiction does not only come from drug and substance abuse; addiction can also come in the context of a love relationship where partners become excessively dependent on their partners to meet their emotional and psychological needs. Just like in drug and substance addiction, love addiction can lead to withdrawal symptoms.

References

Roberts, N. & Nesdole, R. (2016). Adolescent Urgent Psychiatric Consults: Prevalence of Substance Abuse and Comparison with Abstinent Peers. J Addict Behav Ther Rehabil, 05(01). http://dx.doi.org/10.4172/2324-9005.1000150

Schaefer, B. (2006). :: It's All About Love ::. Itsallaboutlove.com. Retrieved 22 October 2016, from http://www.itsallaboutlove.com/love_addiction.htm