Essay Sample: What If Marriage Is Bad For Us?

Is marriage a good or a bad thing for those who chose to make, take, and walk in that lifelong commitment? Such a question sounds easy but arouses some of the most debated upon conversations in social circles. The article by Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens': "What If Marriage Is Bad For Us" shares some of the answers to this mind cracking question of whether those who decide to commit in holy matrimony stand to benefit much more than those who do not, either by choice or otherwise.

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Today's marriage institution is a complete opposite of what it used to be decades ago. What was, of marriage, has been deeply eroded over time leaving only but "skeletons" of what a typically normal marriage was. The reasons for which people get married today and the principles upon which today's matrimonial institutions are founded are quite contrary to how things used to be in the past. Today's marriage is imagined to be based on companionship and love. It is thought to be the source of happiness, wealth, and sound health. These are specifically the reasons that make people today long for that "special day" when they'll stand before a multitude and say "I do." They believe that this would be the day when all their worries will be cast in a forgotten pit and a time when they'll get a new lease of life. Such misconceptions and ideologies about marriage, however, did not form a basis for the traditional marriages engaged in centuries ago (Gerson, 2002).

Historically, people used to marry or get married for various reasons ranging from self-benefit and material reasons to cultural and social ones. Rarely did people use to marry for romance purposes. According to Essig and Owens, marriage to women ensured them of their survival which made men take advantage of their vulnerability and need to behave in whatever way they wished (Essig & Owens, 2009). Traditionally, marriages used to last for an average of 11 years, unlike today when marriages can last for decades. Divorces are, however, more rampant today than they were in the past. The reasons for the high rates of divorces experienced today are usually connected to the unrealistic expectations that people have of marriage today compared to what used to be the case in the past. Marriage I considered, albeit wrongly, as a stage that is the most important in life. Most people consider life to start after marriage. While such ideas may hold to a selected few, most of those who get into life commitment end up disappointed by the turn of events years, at times even months after being married (Cherlin, 2010).

Marriage, with all its shortcomings, still has its benefits. I love the whole idea of marriage, though, if only it would be leaving up to the expectations most people have of it. The idea of having a family to go back to every evening is fascinating, to say the least. I love family, and marriage to me is a setting that grants such an opportunity to share all your joys and sadness with those you love. I don't know if I'll be happier than I currently am when I get married but I certainly expect the best out of it. I respect the importance that marriage as an institution plays in the society and thus won't hesitate to marry the right person when I get one.

References

Cherlin, A. J. (2010). The marriage-go-round: The state of marriage and the family in America today. Vintage.

Essig, L., & Owens, L. (2009). What if Marriage Is Bad for Us?. The Chronicle of Higher Education, 10(9), 09.

Gerson, K. (2002). Moral dilemmas, moral strategies, and the transformation of gender: Lessons from two generations of work and family change. Gender & Society, 16(1), 8-28.