Introduction
Mailing is a very common method of passing information either in businesses or at a personal level of communication. However, it can be problematic if the receiver misinterprets the fundamental tone (Rudd & Mills, 2015). If the parties engaging in the mailing are not in the same emotional states of mind, a minor discrepancy can lead to a serious argument. Before sending a mail, one has to proofread the content to make sure the receiver will understand the whole information. However, it is critical to underscore the fact that every vital information should be covered in the mail for communication to be effective (Derks & Bakker, 2010). This paper lays a great focus on the memo written by Booby Johnson to 50 receivers and analyzes its associated communication problems it has before providing a revised version of the memo and detailing different Cs for effective writing that were applied in order to get the correct version of the memo.
Issues Identified in the Memo
Failing to Indicate the Date
Analytically, this email lacks dates. The date the email was written is not indicated. Secondly, a date was supposed to be mentioned in the first sentence after the greetings. The writer only writes Joe Banyon is retiring next month then leave it at that point. In his mind, he assumes all the 50 people receiving this email know the date of Joe's retirement. Such assumptions should be avoided always because some people will be receiving half the information.
Restaurant’s Address Is Missing
The writer mentions City Cafe, the place to host the farewell party, but forgets to give the address. The writer probably assumes everyone knows where City Cafe is located. This can be irritating to some parties receiving this email. People might wonder why the writer is not giving out full information for them to understand. This scenario can bring about mixed reactions between parties receiving the email. Some might not attend the party claiming they were not aware of the location. Giving details is essential in communication and emailing is not an exception.
Unclear Statement
Bobby in the mail asks every individual to contribute. People might wonder if they are contributing towards the gift certificate, to cover the party expenses or the contribution to be given to Joe in person. Secondly, the memo does not inform the people clearly if there will be only drinks at the restaurant or full-course dinner. Lastly, ASAP is an unclear command. ASAP is not well defined in the memo and people might wonder if Bobby wanted them to confirm their attendance or to send their contribution immediately. Others might not understand what ASAP stands for.
Wrong Address
The email should be coming from Bobby and not addressed to Bobby. This clearly shows that the writer never read over this work before sending it out.
Revised Email
FROM: Bobby Johnson
SUBJECT: Joe Retirement Party
DATE: 1st February 2019
Hello everyone, our friend Joe Banyon is having his retirement scheduled next month on 7th. Some of his close allies have urged me to arrange a farewell party in honour of his great contribution in his career field.
The party will be held on 10th of the same month in City Cafe starting at 6 p.m. city Cafe is found on the 4th avenue of Adam's Accad estate, adjacent to the main Town Hall. I hereby urge everyone to contribute any amount of cash to facilitate a gift certification we would offer him.
There will be a full-course dinner catered for everyone and can be accompanied by spouses. Kindly confirm your attendance immediately.
Kind regards.
Bobby.
Application of the 10Cs for Writing Effectively
Content
I improved the mail content by delivering satisfying information
Completeness
All sentences that were previously left hanging were made complete. This provided full understanding to all receivers.
Correctness
I corrected the sender address that was previously termed as the receiver.
Clarity
I made all the statements clear. For instance, I mentioned the main aim of the contributions that were to be made
Coherence
The first email lacked consistency. In my email, I ensured there is a flow of information.
Connection
All ideas in the mail is linked up with others. There is the connectivity of events in the memo.
Creativity
Inviting spouses and providing full-course dinner is being creative not to hold a dull party.
Courtesy
The selection of words should imply a polite tone, which I introduced in the second email. The first mail to me was a bit rude especially when Bobby says everyone should contribute and inform hi ASAP. I corrected this.
Closure
The closing remarks should give people a feeling not to miss the party. It needs to be gentle and welcoming just as I made it in my mail.
Strategies for an Effective Email
According to Derks and Bakker (2010), there are different strategies that need to be put into consideration in order to ensure that one develops an effective email. First, it is important to come up with a meaningful subject in order to address the inherent needs of the email. Secondly, the sender needs to be kind in order to appeal to the target audience. Thirdly, the recipient needs to respond swiftly in order to meet the desired goal of effective communication. Fourthly, it is important for the recipient to identify the email himself or herself in order to get the first-hand information (Derks & Bakker, 2010; Renault, 2018). Fifthly, the sender ought to proofread the email to ensure that all details are effectively addressed. Sixthly, there is a great need to maintain the main focus of the message in order to meet its requirements. Seventhly, both the sender and the receiver need to demonstrate respect in order to have mutual communication. Eighthly, the communicating parties need to avoid unnecessary attachments in order to maintain the meaningful of the email. Ninthly, both the sender and receiver should not assume their privacy (Rudd & Mills, 2015; Renault, 2018). Lastly, there is need for the communicators to differentiate between formal and informal circumstances in order to attain communicational effectiveness.
References
Rudd, D. & Mills, R. (2015). Communication, Climate and Culture in the Hospitality Industry. American Journal of Management, 15(4), 11-21. Retrieved from: http://www.na-businesspress.com/AJM/RuddD_Web15_4_.pdf.
Derks, D., & Bakker, A. B. (2010). The Impact of E-mail Communication on Organizational Life. Cyber-psychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, 4(1), 1-10. Retrieved from: https://cyberpsychology.eu/article/view/4233/3277.
Renault, B. (2018). Importance of Good Business Writing Skills. International Journal of Language and Linguistics, 5(2), 32-41. Retrieved from: http://ijllnet.com/journals/Vol_5_No_2_June_2018/5.pdf.
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Mail Etiquette: Understanding Tone and Proofreading Before Sending - Essay Sample. (2023, Feb 07). Retrieved from https://midtermguru.com/essays/mail-etiquette-understanding-tone-and-proofreading-before-sending-essay-sample
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