Essay on Differences Between Men and Women and Language Use - Paper Example

The form of communication that prevails between male and females is ineffective mostly because they frequently have distinct ideas concerning what is ideal. Their mode of speaking is also different. For instance, in the case of women, most of their conversational rituals aim at putting the feelings of other people into consideration whereas conversations among men target sustaining a one-up position while avoiding landing in the one-down position. In this case, when women and men communicate, particularly in the workplace, women end up at a disadvantage. The reason for this is that women do not try to refrain from the one-down position leading them to end up there (Tannen 299). Thus, the paper will discuss whether understanding gender differences in conversation and understanding stereotypes can help men and women to communicate better without many misunderstandings.

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On the differences that prevail between men and women in language use, for instance, in the video The Tale of Two Brains by Mark Gungor, he stipulates that "The Laws of Relational Physics reveal how men and women are wired differently." Here, he states that women and men act, communicate, and think differently by targeting couples and the problems they encounter based on their different ways of thinking about life. Most of the challenges that the couples face "are as a result of a head problem, not a heart problem (Monologgruppen)." Moreover, in the video Men, Women and Language: A Story of Human Speech, Sophie Scott questions, How do we use language and vocal sound (Scott)?" In this sense, she aims at depicting that nature of speech is delicate and effortful concerning the ways that the different genders use it differently.

The major areas that result to miscommunications between men and women include apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Regarding apologies, women are believed to apologize too much. The reason as to why women are told to refrain from apologizing too much is that many men perceive apologizing as putting oneself down. Furthermore, apologies are believed to place the two at equal levels whereas men want to be seen as superior. In case the two parties share the blame, it appears as if they are sharing a common face-saving device. However, in case one individual, particularly the women frequently apologize while the other does not, it seems as if she is accepting the blame for the wrongs she did not commit. Even if she shares the blame partially, she appears to be completely in the wrong. Nevertheless, failure to apologize can also be costly. For instance, since most women are known to engage in ritual apologies, the ones who fail are perceived as hard headed (Tannen 300). The important thing to focus on here entails being aware of how often you apologize as well as why and take the time to examine your speech depending on the reactions you receive.

On criticism, it is crucial to ensure note that if disparagement is given in a softened or straight manner, it is an issue of a convention. Women are known to utilize more softeners whereas most men talks straight concerning certain matters. The individuals who believe that speaking in a soft manner influences criticism might encounter challenges when dealing with straight facts, although no style is perceived as inherently better. The people who prefer straight criticism assume that feelings do not take part in the process. Many women are also known to utilize "thanks" as an automatic way of starting a close conversation while there is nothing to thank. As it is the case with most conversations that characterize women, they depend on the others goodwill in restoring the balance. In case the other party fails to reciprocate, a woman might feel like a person on a seesaw whose colleague discarded his end (Tannen 301). Unlike attaining a balance while in the air, she ends up on the ground without knowing how she ended up there.

Men anticipate the process of discussing ideas to feature a ritual fight that needs exploring via verbal opposition. They believe in stating their thoughts while expressing strongest terms and thinking that in the event of any weaknesses, certain individuals will pinpoint them and will against the objections. The parties who anticipate their viewpoints to be disregarded respond to the ideas of the other persons by looking for weak links as a way of assisting. Here, the logic is that when other people challenge you, you end up rising to the occasion. In the case of many women, they perceive this form of an approach as a personal attack. They encounter challenges when handling their duties in such a litigious setting. In case you are not accustomed to ritual fighting, it leads you to have doubt on what you already know (Tannen 302).

When it comes to giving praise, women portray different habits. Men do not give praise but rather remain silent leaving the other parties to feel unappreciated, especially women. Also, in case men and females are presenting a similar idea, women regularly praise whereas the men give detailed criticism, leading women to feel as if they have been put down. Complaints are also common among women leading men to perceive the act as a request for solving a given problem. Women frequently talk too much concerning the issues bothering them, whereas male colleagues would provide them with solutions on how to solve the issues, leading the women frustrated and condescended. In this sense, it is ideal to note that the repercussions affiliated with complaining might be more severe (Tannen 303). A man might take the lighthearted nature of a woman literary leading her to be perceived as not capable of dealing particular problems that emerge in the workplace setting.

On matters affiliated with joking, men see women as lacking a sense of humor while it is the opposite when working with male colleagues who joke and tease all the time. Fr women in positions of power, they are not comfortable with humor although they appreciate humor when with their female colleagues. In this perspective, the kinds of senses of humor men and women prefer are distinct. The touches of humor common among men comprise of teasing, razzing, and mocking hostile attacks, whereas women regard it as a form of self-mocking. Women frequently mistake teasing by men as hostile whereas men usually mistake the mock that women direct toward self-depression as a way of putting themselves down (Tannen 304). Also, women are typically taken seriously when they learn how to joke the same way as men.

In conclusion, about the differences that prevail between men and women in language use, I have noted that it is essential to realize that no "right" way of talking exists. In the event of problems, the culprit might be differences in style, while the techniques might fail at times with those to don not understand or share them. In case you wish to get a particular message across, it is not about being right, but it is a matter of using a language that is understood and shared. Therefore, it is true that accepting the gender differences in conversation and understanding stereotypes can help men and women to communicate better without so many misunderstandings.

Works Cited

Monologgruppen. Tale of Two Brains. YouTube, 28 February 2011,

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk.

Scott, Sophie. Men, Women and LanguageA Story of Human Speech. YouTube, 31 July

2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v=iteK4P0nDO8.

Tannen, Deborah. But What Do You Mean? The Brief Bedford Reader, 13th ed. edited by X.

J. Kennedy et al. Bedford/St. Martins, 2017, pp. 299-305.