Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest - Research Paper

Introduction

From time immemorial, society has continuously depicted both genders as highly unequal with more responsibilities given to the males. Unfortunately, the situation has ensured men are at a more precarious position than they should be. Andrew Reiner's article on" Teaching Men to be Emotionally Honest" is no doubt an accurate illustration of the extremes that the male gender reaches as they try to live as men. The main issue, here, is that several institutionalized expectations make them model their behavior in a particular way that is somewhat different from what they should be. Indeed, the emotional part of it is among the most hit area. As Reiner observes, men have been taught to mutate their feelings, and anger is one way of doing so. Thus, they (men) end up being emotionally dishonest. As a result, some interventions are necessary to change the scenario too.

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With no doubt, boys are more emotive than girls (Reiner 15). If that is not the case, their emotional situations and needs are similar. However, the society and its systems have instilled the masculine psyche that males need to observe at all times. Through it, men usually feel shy when sad. They are also likely to feel the same when they despair or feel highly emotional. Since they are not expected to express their emotions in the same way as women, they metamorphose it to anger. In so doing, they compose artful and convincing masks about their feelings and experiences. This behavior conceals their identity, which also makes it difficult to understand and help them accordingly.

At this point, the striking observation is that men usually put some masks which make them hide what they are experiencing. Indeed, they (males) are more socially oriented than females (Reiner 16). Accordingly, men should be openly expressing their facial expressions irrespective of whether they are joyful or not. However, that is not the case: they usually mutate their emotions to something different that matches the expectations of their masculine psyches. The effects are far-reaching to the extent that there has been a lower performance of males in schools since they don't look for emotional support like females.

It is worth noting that when young, the expectations for boys and girls are the same. As they advance in age, however, some of the expectations are siphoned from boys, and start sounding girlish when a boy becomes honest with emotions. Accordingly, the situation leaves the boys more exposed and forces them to deal with their issues privately. The systems haven't also instituted measures to make male students more honest with their emotions. Over time, performance has declined as girls overtake them in social behavior matters. Being emotionally dishonest is no doubt a possible cause of these problems in schools among others such as antisocial behavior. Intervention is, therefore, necessary.

Causes of the Loss in Masculine Psyche

From Andrew Reiner's article, it is apparent that there is a wide gap between how men have been reacting emotionally and how the situation should be. For instance, apart from schools, many men are also struggling in their different relationships. To an extent, they can feel, but the channels for expressing the feelings appear to be very limited. As such, there is a particular seal that bars them from being open with what they feel while searching for help. In the end, they continue burning inside from their emotions, which can also be detrimental to their physical and emotional states.

Overall, there is a general expectation for men to be brave since they are the dominant group entitled with conquering (Stets and Jonathan 169). In the same case, making many emotions clear such as through crying has been associated with cowardice which should not be a feature of men. With these stereotypic thoughts controlling men's reactions in many environments, there is a high possibility that they will lack an opportunity to unlock their feelings. More so, their male partners in different settings may condition them to behave and bravely react even when conditions may require giving them space to respond and heal emotionally. The situation is worse in institutions where there is a gender mix such as in schools.

So far, it is apparent that the challenges that hinder men from being open are both personal and institutional. At a personal level, men are somewhat shy to express their emotions due to the seal that comes with masculinity. This point implies that by being male, they cannot be extremely emotional and would often hide how they feel as they try to observe the bravery mark. In the end, they have some worries inside them which affect their thought processes in diverse ways. At the institutional level, society has unfairly defined how men should behave as a mark of masculinity and bravery. With no doubt, it ends up hurting the men since a majority of the emotions to overcome if the feelings aren't shared.

Current Manifestations and Challenges

Before looking at the various solutions, it is essential to examine the contemporary manifestations that depict that men are suffering emotionally. As per Reiner's note, men are gradually becoming low performers academically compared to the girls. This point implies that there is an exchange of positions since girls are getting the psychological support required when overwhelmed by emotions. In such a case, the society and learning institutions among other areas should redefine the position of men and give them realistic expectations as far as emotional manifestations are concerned. Even though the bar can remain high in other areas, the emotions part of it needs a reexamination. Indeed, when performance declines, their psychological state continues to worse: they may lose self-belief, esteem, and feel neglected too.

Emotional awareness is essential in any setting. Reason being, it enables a person to establish and maintain professional and personal relationships. As a result, the general expectation is that social and professional institutions should provide environments where both genders can express their feelings without unnecessary barricades. However, due to the current seals and expectations for men to behave in a given way, a majority of the males aren't emotionally assertive. The outcome of this issue is a scenario where men's relationship with others is breaking a day after another. The main contributing element is a misunderstanding. When men are emotionally suffering, their immediate requirement is to provide help. As such, the ones in their immediate environment should understand their feelings and help accordingly. However, given that they hide how they feel, their friends and mates may not know what they are going through across situations. This way, they can't avoid ruined relationships.

Possible Solutions

So far, it is evident that men emotionally suffer since they aren't honest with their feelings. Regarding that, the solutions should look at interventions that make them more confident to explain how they feel and seek help as well. In the learning institutions and the society at large, support groups are critically necessary. Their role should include promoting personal growth and change while helping men to be courageous enough to share their day to day experiences. In such groups, men should be helped to learn essential social skills such as tolerance, listening, and setting boundaries. Here, they should be frequently taught about the adverse consequences of concealing emotions and how to set a limit regardless of the situational pressures.

Apart from support groups, another crucial intervention is counseling. In learning institutions, families, and social places, it is essential to sensitize men on what it means by being emotionally assertive. Most commonly, men are known to be hypersensitive to criticism. As such, they hate to be depicted as not observing their masculine state. However, it happens that those who criticize them are just judgmental. Therefore counseling them to lower their guard and comfortably express their different feelings can be highly helpful. Men must get the true identity of the self and must learn to avoid behaviors that can be emotionally hurting.

If possible, it is also essential to establish empowerment forums in the learning institutions. Since schools are the places where people learn many behaviors, putting like-minded people together to share everyday challenges can give men a platform to be more honest emotionally. Through debates, for instance, there can be discussions on emotional problems and possible solutions. In these scenarios, teachers and other caretakers in the school can take the opportunity and clarify the risks and rewards of self-expression. More so, such openings can give men a chance to foster their relationships and solving other complex problems that require sharing experiences during hardships.

Conclusion

In summation, there is no doubt that there are some expectations for men that hinders them to be emotionally honest. As a result, they end up concealing their feelings for long which affects their physical and mental state. It is, therefore, essential to help them to be more honest with their emotions. As analyzed above, reasonable interventions include counseling, provision of support groups, and empowerment forums.

Works Cited

Reiner, Andrew. Teaching Men to be Emotionally Honest. The New York Times, 2016.

Stets, Jan E, and Jonathan H. Turner. Handbook of the Sociology of Emotions. New York, NY: Springer, 2007.