The Last Wishes Letter

Introduction

The end of life wishes include the way one would like to be treated at their last days and this is a way of preparing for the future uncertainties. In many cases, people get old or sick and they feel dissatisfied with the care they get. Some people express their wishes prior to this time while others do not get adequate courage to do so. About 27% talk to their loved ones about the end of life care and 90% agree that it is important to talk about it. In this letter, all issues related to the discussion. As a mother, I would wish to discuss with my daughter and the first thing I would like to do before starting the discussion is to think about the impacts of my choices to my daughter and other loved ones in my life. The first issue to discuss would be the way I would ensure the life of my daughter goes on in a good way even after I fall sick. One thing that matters most at the end of life is the life of my daughter and getting the right healthcare services.

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There are several considerations that matter to me and I feel should be followed when the time comes. The first one is the disclosure of information to me as the patient. In this, I feel that I should be allowed to know as much as possible unless the information could be unhealthy for me. If the doctor is assured that some of the data about my condition would be harmful to me, I will be okay if it is withheld. During my treatment, I would like to be granted a chance to express my views and to have a say in the treatment process. However, I will always let the doctors make the final decisions and I will not dictate their performance. If I have a terminal illness, my wish is to have information on the progress of the illness and how long I may have before I die. In this way, I can plan my future and create an understanding whereby my last days are smooth.

I would like to get treatment for as long as possible but with the consideration of the quality and impacts of that treatment to me and my loved ones. For example, if the terminal illness causes too much pain and it is a source of distress to me and my daughter, I would like to terminate it and request for mercy killing. I would not like to spend all my life receiving treatment that hurts me and the ones I love. The reasoning behind this is that I may not get the best health care and sometimes it may only be an aggressive treatment. In my last days, I would like to be at home unless there is a need to be in a healthcare facility. Therefore, if need be, I will be in the healthcare facility. However, if I can be at home, would like to remain at home. I would like my loved ones to do the things that I will say but not if it hurts them I am flexible about it and I will expect them to do what is good for them, regardless of whether my wishes are contrary to their actions.

When my time comes, I would like to be alone so that I can concentrate on the issues that matter to me and to have time to reflect on my past. My view is that if my daughter is with me up to the last minute, they may not be strong enough to detach once I am dead. Some of the memories of my last days may not be good for my loved ones. For example, if I have a terminal illness, the last days may be painful and I may not look healthy. I would like to handle the pain alone. The three things I would like my loved ones to know is that it is not their fault that I fell sick, that I love and appreciate their efforts and help and that since all people will die, it is okay to agree my fate. The best time to talk about these things with my daughter would be during the next holiday and this would best be done at the park. She loves going to the park with me and we usually have some quality time there. It would be good to use that moment to discuss such sensitive issues. During this talk, I want to make sure that my daughter knows I love and appreciate her, that it is never her fault that I may be unwell and that we will all die and so I will be fine with my outcome.

I have not been in any major illnesses and I do not have an imagination of my last days. I would like to make sure my daughter has adequate resources in the future and I am concerned about a possible disagreement between my daughter and her uncles over the ownership of my property. I wish to make things straight on the ones to heir my properties. There will be several milestones that include legal will and explanations of the same. I would like to get treatment in a nursing home and I am against the feeding tubes. My advance directive (AD) will be discussed with my loved ones and in line with the Advance Care Planning (ACP). This letter remains my confidential document until my end of life days.

Reflection Questions

When completing the starter kit, I felt that I was getting in line with my wishes and I was achieving my goals and those of my daughter.

When starting the conversation with my daughter, I felt hesitant and I was worried she may not understand my concerns.

After sharing my views, she responded positively and supported my views.

Some of the parts that went well are the stay at the hospital, having a say in the treatment process and writing a will to avoid conflicts over my assets.

My views about being alone during my last days and asking for mercy killing when the treatment was painful and unworthy did not go well. She did not support my views about these issues.

We were able to discuss the key issues about the end of life wishes and how they can affect both of us.

In my future discussion with my doctor, I will approach the issues differently and this will include a different location where there are fewer distractions and I will write done all the main points.